One of the most frequently asked questions I get as a baker is What's your favorite thing to bake? A close second is How do you stay so thin around all those sweets?
One of these questions is fun and curious in a positive or at least neutral way because we love being able to easily define people and things. You're not a musician, you're a pop star. You're not a writer, you're a poet. You're not a baker, you're a cupcake queen. You know, labels. We love labels.
The other question is nothing but a problem because it's not curious, it's presumptuous and actively perpetuating the harmful—sometimes deadly—idea that being thin is the right or good thing to be. It presumes that I might have found some sort of magic for manipulating my body to be thin, because surely we aren't allowed to eat desserts and exist as we are simultaneously. And it presumes that we should all be searching for that magic and that I should be proud of finding it, proud of my body.
There have been so many times when I have almost scream-cried into the face of someone who asked me this and said, Well, I never eat any of this shit, ma'am, because I am an anorexic over-exerciser who absolutely hates myself and especially my body. Instead I usually smiled and said, Baking is a physical job! I get my steps in! I played the game. I played the into the diet culture game because I was trapped by it. My eating disorder convinced me that losing weight and being thin was more important than anything else, and part of me was proud to hear this question. Part of me beamed with joy to hear someone notice the hard work that I was putting into making endless desserts without letting myself enjoy any of it.
I don't hear that question much anymore, probably because I don't bake in a professional kitchen, but I'd love to get that question now. I've thought a lot about it, actually, because I still expect to get it someday. Part of me wants to be mean and aggressive and really sort of rant about the problematic assumptions of such an inquiry, but the truth is that I have a lot of empathy for folks who are still trapped in diet culture or disordered eating—I was one of them (and sometimes, honestly, still am). And I know that version of myself doesn't respond well to antagonistic monologues. What I think I'd say is, Being thin is not really something I'm proud of, it's just the way my body is shaped, but have you tried one of these pies? Now that's something I'd like to talk about.
And speaking of pie, the answer to the first question, what is my favorite thing to bake? It's pie. It's always been pie.
Sugar cream pie was the first recipe delegated to me for Thanksgiving dinner. My mom absolutely hated making it, so I offered to try one year in high school and not only loved it, I nailed it. They turned out lusciously thick and creamy, the texture like a creme brûlée without having to fuss with water baths and sensitive eggs and all that.
Pie was also what impressed my bosses at the cafe in New York. I was surrounded by French chefs who made tarts or tortes or galettes, but I proposed a good ol' American fruit pie. I spent all day slow roasting plums in butter and maple syrup and layered them with caramelized cinnamon almonds and a tangy creme fraiche whipped cream in my flaky, all-butter crust. When I presented the gorgeous purple pie at the tasting that evening, even the Frenchies had to admit the combination of textures and flavors and warm pie with chilled cream was hard to resist.
I think that's why I love pie so much. It can be anything and everything you want it to be. Custard pies, fruit pies, nut pies, cookie pies. The crust can be flaky and buttery or crumbly and salty or chewy and sweet. You name it, pie can deliver.
So here are a couple of my favorite recipes. One is a family recipe, the humble but always satisfying sugar cream pie, and the other is a variation on my plum pie that I've come to know and love and works well throughout the seasons.
Enjoy the pie. I'm grateful for you being here <3
THE CLASSIC CRUST
2 ½ cups flour
1 tablespoon granulated sugar
1 teaspoon salt
½ teaspoon baking powder
2 sticks butter, cubed & chilled in the refrigerator
½ - ¾ cup ice water
1 tablespoon apple cider vinegar
Combine the flour, sugar, salt and baking powder in a large mixing bowl. Add the cubes of butter and begin to work into the flour with your hands or a pastry cutter or a food processor—whatever you prefer. You want to take care to pulse only briefly with the food processor because the goal here is not anything uniform. The pieces should be all sizes, anything from a speck of black pepper to a garbanzo bean. You know you’re done mixing when you can squeeze some in your hand and it holds the imprint of your hand briefly before crumbling.
Add the apple cider vinegar and ½ cup of water and mix the dough with a wooden spoon. If there’s more than about a ½ cup of dry bits left at the bottom of the bowl, add some additional water, 1 tablespoon at a time until there’s a cohesive, shaggy dough.
On a floured work surface, pat the dough out to a rectangle about 8 inches wide, fold it in half, and pat it out once more. Do this one more time, which is just creating more layers in the dough, then divide the dough in two, wrap well with plastic wrap, and chill for at least one hour or overnight (you can freeze the dough, too, if you might not use within 48 hours. Freeze up to 3 months, pulling to the fridge 24 hours before you need to roll it out).
Pull one chilled piece of dough and put it onto a floured work surface. With a rolling pin, start to roll the dough out, rotating it after every push of the pin. Roll a large enough piece for your pie pan, so roughly 10” x 10”. Arrange the dough in the bottom of your pan, trimming the edges so that there’s about a quarter inch above your pie plate and crimping or using a fork or however you prefer finishing your edges. Chill the dough like this in the freezer (if you want to wait to finish the pie until tomorrow, wrap it but if you’re going right into the blueberry filling, don’t waste the plastic).
If you’re making your pie now, chill it for at least a half hour in the freezer. While it’s chilling, this is actually a great time to make your candied pistachios (recipe below), and then you can crank the oven up to 350 when it’s time to bake your crust.
To bake the crust, first take a fork and poke it gently onto the surface of the now-frozen dough. Don’t be too aggressive, but be thorough. There should be quite a few holes. Now, place parchment or aluminum foil on top of the crust, fitting it on top like a glove (meaning yes, you should cover all the way to the decorated edge), and fill the crust with rice or dried beans or pie weights if you’re really fancy (I never have been). Bake the crust like this for 25 minutes, remove the weights and the foil/parchment. Bake for an additional 5 minutes for a par-baked crust (for sugar cream pie below) or 15-18ish minutes or until the crust is golden, and for a fully baked crust (like you'll want for the blueberry pie).
BLUEBERRY PIE
Makes one 9” pie
1/2 Recipe for fully-baked pie crust (you can freeze the other half!)
Candied Pistachios
1 cup pistachios, roughly chopped
1 egg white
½ cup granulated sugar
1 teaspoon salt
½ teaspoon coriander
1 teaspoon orange zest (from your one orange! But save the rest for the cream!)
Set the oven to 300 degrees and line a baking sheet with parchment paper and oil spray (you can use a silpat here, if you have one).
Whip the egg white with a whisk in a small mixing bowl until it gets a little fluffy, not necessarily holding peaks but starting to hold ribbons. Whisk in the sugar, salt, orange zest and coriander until well combined and slightly stiffer, maybe holding very soft peaks. Add the nuts and stir to coat them thoroughly before spreading the mixture onto the prepared pan.
Bake for 30-40 minutes total, stirring the nuts about every ten minutes to get them evenly browned (they’ll be sticky and you might feel weird tossing them around—don’t! They’re fine!) Allow to cool on a wire rack until completely cool, then break up into chunky pieces like brittle. Reserve this for garnishing the pie last minute.
Blueberry Filling
1 pound frozen wild blueberries*
1 pound frozen blueberries
1 pound fresh blueberries
1 orange, juiced
¾ cup sugar
½ teaspoon salt
½ teaspoon coriander
Best to make this as your crust and the pistachios are cooling. Combine all of the ingredients except the fresh blueberries in a large saucepan and bring to a boil over medium heat, stirring every so often. Once boiling, stir constantly while the berries erupt with their juices and start to reduce (when I say constantly, I mean, more often than not, you should be stirring. But if you need to step away because your dog insists on playing fetch right this second or your child chooses now to try to use the potty for the first time or you need to use the potty yourself, please don’t fret. If you’re stepping away for more than two minutes, turn the heat down to low and do your thing. This process will just take a little longer, but you’re likely used to that already if you’re a human).
This filling’s cook time has a lot of variables, but you’ll be cooking at least twenty minutes. I watched a whole episode of Modern Family and started into a second before mine started to thicken like jam and as I ran my spatula through the center, the cooked berries would pause just slightly before falling back into itself, which is what you’re looking for. To make sure it’s ready, you can turn off the heat and scoop out a teaspoon and stick it in the fridge. Check it in three to five minutes, it should be slightly looser than a store bought jam but not runny. If it’s not, keep cooking!
Once it’s cooked down to the right consistency, transfer to a mixing bowl and toss in the fresh blueberries. Let this set out on the counter, stirring occasionally, until it cools down to pretty much room temperature. Fill the baked crust with your room temp filling, and prepare the cream.
Mascarpone Cream
8 ounce container mascarpone cream
1 ½ cups heavy cream
4 tablespoons powdered sugar
2 teaspoons vanilla
1 zested orange
In a large mixing bowl, combine the mascarpone and cream and whisk (this will be such a nicer experience if you have handheld or kitchenaid mixer), on medium speed until it starts to thicken slightly. Add the orange, vanilla, and powdered sugar and whip on medium until the cream thickens and starts to look like one big voluptuous cloud. Top the pie with this cream, using your offset spatula or knife or spoon to arrange the cream however you like, though I would leave a peak of the blueberry filling along the edges. Chill like this for at least an hour before serving. Garnish with the candied pistachios at the last minute!
This pie is best the day of, but we ate it two days later with little complaints except for the soggy nuts.
SUGAR CREAM PIE
Makes two 9" pies
1 Recipe classic pie dough
1 pint half n' half
1 pint heavy cream
5 tablespoons cornstarch
2 cups granulated sugar
1 stick butter, sliced into cubes
Vanilla extract & cinnamon for garnish
Set the oven temperature to 350 degrees and place your par-baked pie crusts on sheet pans.
In a large pot, whisk together the half n' half, cream, and cornstarch until no clumps remain. Whisk in the rest of the ingredients (except the garnish!) and set over a medium heat. Whisk this constantly while it cooks so there's no scorching. Slowly, the butter will fully melt, the sugar will dissolve, it'll start to thicken. This is all great news—keep stirring! Eventually little bubbles will start to surface along the sides and then bigger bubbles will start to erupt. The mixture should be thick like a béchamel, slightly runnier than gravy. Shut the heat off and divide the filling between the two crusts (I eyeball this, but you can always use a measuring cup if you like).
Bake the pies for 30 minutes in the middle of the oven. You might start to freak out because you see it start to bubble—leave it in there! 30 minutes exactly. There will be a little browning on the top and it will still seem fairly liquid, but I promise, it's perfect. Sift a little cinnamon and splash about a teaspoon of vanilla over the pie while it's warm and let it cool to room temperature, about an hour. Cover and refrigerate for at least 8 hours, preferably overnight.
These pies last several days in the fridge, but you won't ever need to know that ;)
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